Being Okay With Not Knowing

FeaturedBeing Okay With Not Knowing

Yesterday was supposed to be a very exciting day for me. I had the opportunity to travel to St. Louis, Missouri to an open model call for a well-known management agency. This audition to sign as a model for their company could lead to various job opportunities down the road; it was a door, I thought, God had opened for me.

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Breath of Fresh Air

I work behind a desk.

Horrible start, I know, but I stand behind the front desk of a YMCA, and I watch in envy as people walk in and are able to move about freely and workout. I continue, though, typing in paperwork, answering the incoming calls, and managing the flow of members. I am so caught up in my little world behind the desk, that when I step outside to leave, it feels as though I’m taking my first real breath of the day.

wind blown

There is a world happening around me, and I am selfish to acknowledge it.

I’m going to be honest, there are days when all I think about is the next thing I need to get done; rushing, hurrying to accomplish something. What I don’t take time to realize is, the world around me will continue to turn, the birds will still chirp in the mornings, and my life is a grain of sand compared to the billions of other lives on the planet. In short, the world will continue to revolve, whether I acknowledge it or not.

Why not breathe in every second you can?

I went running the other day, and in the middle of this grueling 8-mile run, I realized I hadn’t thought about anything the entire run- my mind was clear. (This rarely ever happens, by the way.) Usually, I run to relieve stress and I’m constantly thinking of that stressor throughout the whole run, but this run was different.


All I could think of during this run, was how beautiful the day was. I didn’t have a single thought about homework, student loans, work hours or the incessant pain resonating from my feet (begging me to stop, most likely.) I kept looking around at the parks I passed by, the happiness of dogs splashing in the lake, the breeze keeping me comfortably cool and being in awe of the beauty.

“This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

-Psalm 118:24

I stopped thinking of the things I couldn’t control, and started thanking God for giving me legs to run with, giving me strength and endurance, and most of all for the day he so-beautifully made.

Some days, I believe it would be easier to sulk in my own moodiness, but I have to mentally kick myself in the hiney and remind myself that God did not put me on this planet, so I could hate half of my days on it.

Choose to be happier. Go outside and breathe in the almost-fall air. And most importantly, wake up with a thankful heart that God gave you another day on this planet.


My Testimony: Born Again in Christ

My Testimony: Born Again in Christ

Have you ever had an experience where you’re sitting in church while the pastor is preaching, and you immediately feel God pushing you to get something off your chest? And the pastor could have said something completely ordinary, like, “My grand kids went swimming yesterday,” but in that instance of time, you felt led to tell your entire testimony.

This happened to me a few weeks ago.

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Choosing Money Over God?

Choosing Money Over God?

When I was little, I would get $100 each Christmas, and I was dead-determined to make that $100 last ALL year long. I was taught to save my money and always look for good deals when shopping, and that was the motto I stuck to as I grew up. I would never buy anything expensive, because I knew I should be saving my money, and I didn’t dare go on spontaneous shopping sprees with friends.

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