Choosing Money Over God?

When I was little, I would get $100 each Christmas, and I was dead-determined to make that $100 last ALL year long. I was taught to save my money and always look for good deals when shopping, and that was the motto I stuck to as I grew up. I would never buy anything expensive, because I knew I should be saving my money, and I didn’t dare go on spontaneous shopping sprees with friends.

Always having the thought of saving money in the back of my mind, I created a mentality where I thought I needed to have a certain amount of money at all times to feel secure. This has been a struggle I have dealt with for a long time; feeling as though I needed this security blanket, instead of trusting that God would take care of me financially. Don’t misunderstand me, I know that I can’t go out and spend every penny I have on Pioneer Woman’s entire dinner set and pretty new clothes, believing that God will pay my bills for me. We have to put in the effort to make things happen, but when money takes the place in our minds where God should be, there’s a problem.

I was never one to fully understand tithing at church. I believed it was selfish of the church to ask for money, when I thought all my money would go to was church upgrades and toilet paper for the bathrooms. Little did I know that tithing in church would be the answer to my selfish mentality. After reading Matthew 19:24, I knew it was time to make a change in my givings.

“Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” -Matthew 19:24 NIV

Last Sunday, as service was nearing a close, the pastor had us all bow our heads to pray for the offerings of the church. During this time, I felt an overwhelming urge to take the $20 out of my wallet and place it in the offering plate as it was being passed by. I wasn’t sure if it was God speaking to me, telling me He is in control of all finances and it was time to trust Him, or just an odd feeling I had in the moment. (Reading that, you’re probably thinking, duh, it’s obviously the first option. Well, you’d be right.)

As the plate passed by, I didn’t put my money in it. Yep, you read that correctly. I did not give my money. I was so worried of what the people around me would think of my giving for the first time in so long, that I chickened out, and boy did I feel guilty afterwards. I thought about it all day long, and couldn’t shake the thought that I had deliberately disobeyed God’s orders.

All week long, I prayed that God would allow me to see His plan for my finances and help me to not stress over money issues that were out of my control. As the week progressed, I indulged in reading the book The Christian Atheist (Please do read the book; it is amazing!) from my bible study, and low-and-behold, the chapter I read was about choosing money over God.

The author, Craig Groeschel, elaborated on a similar situation he was in when he was younger, and I couldn’t help but relate to how guilty he said he felt when he chose not to give the money. He then goes on to explain how Christians should place God first and put their faith in His plans, and so on and so forth, but I had that same overwhelming feeling as I did sitting in church the Sunday before- God was showing me that yes, we are human, but in order to enter His kingdom, we must give everything to Him without question.

Today during church, as the offering plate passed by, I had a peaceful mind knowing that I needed to give my money, and I did just that, because it isn’t about the piece of paper with a number 20 on it, but about giving up those worldly possessions and following Christ with an open heart.